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Soccer Nightmares, Soccer Dreams

I did this solo show at what is now the Rockwell Theater in Somerville in April 2007, spoken word in front of video

Nelson Mandela at the African Nations Cup final

Johannesburg 1996.

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The first time a South African team had ever played in the light of day.

 

Here's a story and a video

The Miracle of the Fish and the Shoes
00:00 / 19:00

Hand of God 

 

Argentina vs. England 1986

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The most famous goal in World Cup history.

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Maradona cheats by punching the ball,

but the ref looks away.

Hand of God- the English version

Here's how the English saw it:

profane, immoral, flagrant

Hand of God- the Argentine version

Here's how Argentina saw it:

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transcendent, divinely willed,

revenge for the Falklands

Jah Equalize

Jamaica v. Croatia 1998

On our honeymoon France 1998, we had tickets to the World Cup group stage Jamaica v. Croatia. Croatia was one of the best teams in Europe, Jamaica was supposed to be their sacrificial victim.

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Croat fans fresh from the Balkan War chanted

heavy metal under flares and gunpowder clouds,

The Jamaican fans from London sang Bob Marley

under a very different kind of cloud.

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And then just before halftime, Robbie Earle got his head to a cross in the penalty area, and we were delirious, a moment untouched by Time.

I Love You Tiffeny Milbrett

My favorite player for the US Women's team.

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 She reminds me of my wife Donene: short, feisty, smart, quick, takes no shit from bullies.

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Her goal against Germany 1999 was astonishing.

 

The German back line was frozen

while she thought two seconds ahead

and flew past them into the future. 

She had come unstuck in time.

Your Boys Took One Hell of a Beating

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Norway v. England

September 1981

This is a four-video sequence about what happened to England in the 1980s.

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England's fall from grace, and how the rest of the world exulted in it.

The Enemy Within

Thatcherism and the hooligan menace

fed on each other. 

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The Heysel riot,

the Hillsborough disaster,

the death of English football

enforced by tear gas

and Tory truncheons.

No Future

The despair in the stands

had an effect on the pitch.

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England crashed out of the 1988 European championship, losing to Ireland.

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English stars Gary Lineker,

Peter Beardsley, Chris Waddle

were paralyzed, helpless

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No hope without joy.

The Goal that Ended Thatcherism

England v Germany 1990

July 4, 1990

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At an Irish bar in San Francisco

for the Germany-England World Cup semi-final.

I had to keep quiet about my sympathies,

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At the end of regulation

Gary Lineker guided a long ball off his thigh

past the German defender

and drilled an inch-perfect shot

inside the far post.

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The Irish and German fans in the pub spat abuse at Paul Parker,

the small Black English wingback

who put the cross in.

 

But the English erupted in a long-denied joy.

 

Two weeks later, Margaret Thatcher resigned.

The Greatest Goal in Human History

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Michael Anderson

Pumas FC vs. Atletico Marin

August 30, 1991

Catcher in the Rye

I played goalkeeper from high school until age 50.

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I was MVP in the Little Rock Sunday league in 1988,

and Best Defender in the North Bay Latin League 1993

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Mea Culpa

(music by David Byrne and Brian Eno)

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Saving and failing to save

in the North Bay Latin League

1991-93

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Arsenal FC

I discovered Arsenal Football Club in 1993, when my mom brought back

Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch from London.


Of course this allegiance is arbitrary.  But aren't ALL allegiances arbitrary,

born of a need to be in a community?

 

I used to be self-conscious being pretentious,

a sad middle-aged American wannabe

pretending to be a North London Gooner.

But at some point, the sheer persistence of an obsession

makes people think you're crazy and weird.

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Which is the opposite of pretentious.

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Arsenal resemble the Red Sox,

perennial underachievers who resent the loss of their old glories.

There should be a German word like schadenfreude to describe

 "taking pleasure in

one's own suffering."

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I send in videos to the indy fan channel

Arsenal Fan TV after matches

dropping Shakespeare quotes.

  I love the live chat responses from the fan base:

"who is this old American twat quoting Bible verses?" "Dafuq is this guy saying?!"

"Loool I love this guy. Man did a monologue."

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After we beat Man Utd,

the AFTV studio posted a mashup

of my Henry V rant 

with London rapper Roadman.

I can die happy now.

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Arsenal Haiku


Tomiyasu's chip
Floats down like a falling leaf
Martinelli! GOAL


We run in circles
Confusing, confused, until
Jesus finds heaven

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The ball flies toward death

Ramsdale claws at it: despair!

No, brother, that's hope

Donene says Saka

is such a sweet darling boy

But lethal in space

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De Gea gets fouled

By his own man. Smith-Rowe says:

"Not my problem, dude."

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The minstrel boy has

Gone to war, cutting inside

GOAL! O frabjous day!

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It's not defending

When you kick him in the gut

Come on Granit, chill

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Kill the fatted calf
Prodigal son hits it - BOOM
All is forgiven

 

Cut through Chelsea's line

Persistence is a virtue

God we needed that

John Bercow,

Speaker of the UK House of Commons

on Arsenal Fan TV

Arsenal fan John Bercow

taunting Tottenham and Man Utd

in the House of Commons

Evidence that Elizabeth II

is an Arsenal supporter

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Jackson at

Arsenal v Crystal Palace 2014

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